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elovers:

TF IS SHE DOING

elovers:

TF IS SHE DOING

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annoyingbloqqer:

"so ma’am, how would you like to pay today? cash or check?"

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warsquirtle:

Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life

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At the groceries store

calakazam:

toyota:

Me: can u give me x²+4y+ of tomatoes & 2(x²+8xy^3) of potatoes please

Seller: I dont understand

Me: well i dont give a fuck i didnt study in vain

those are polynomials you asked for a neverending curve of tomatoes

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and i knew it was bad
when i woke up in the mornings
and the only thing i looked
forward to was going
back to bed - poems from my uncle’s grave (via a-ngxr)
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askinnyblackman:

things i used to laugh at

  • actual jokes

things i laugh at now

  • yard sard
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baelor:

SCARY MOVIES SET IN HOUSES ARE THE WORST

LIVE IN A HOUSE

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50kwatch:

u know what the worst thing about being a girl is… is when another girl asks u for a hair tie, but its ur last one, but u can’t say u don’t have one because she knows its on ur wrist, so u give it to her, and then she says “oh i’ll give it back!” knowing damn well she won’t, and u sit there sad because now you have to go buy another pack of hair ties that u know ur gonna lose by the end of the month

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wifipassworcl:

when you try to make a funny post

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snatchedweaves:

walking downstairs in the middle of the night after bloggingimage

Mom: “Why are you awake?

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